What If
by somethingclever5
Summary: What if the robots hadn't overlooked that double-decker couch?
1. Chappy One

"Fan out! Scuba cops, scour the entire ocean if you have to. I want that piece of resistance FOUND!"

The rubble from the failed submarine bobbed to the surface of the water. Bad Cop smiled to himself. Maybe Good Cop _had_ been getting in his way. As the sun set in the distance, its reflection glinting off the surface of the water, he turned his flying cop car around to head for Lord Business's HQ. With a smug expression on his face, he put his foot on the gas pedal and said with a smirk, "The special is no more!"

"Sir."

"What?" he snapped at the robot that had come up beside him, and slammed on the brakes. "I've told you all not to inturrupt me when I'm having a dramatic scene!"

"Well, to be honest, it wasn't very dramatic-"

"Shut it metal brain. It had better be pretty freaking important."

The robot- serial code A0012C- bobbed a bit nervously in the air. "Well," it started, "the boys just wanted me to inform you that we have doughnuts."

"What!?" A0012C flinched. "Doughnuts!? I'm a busy man, a very very busy man, and you thought that it would be okay to-" Bad Cop paused in his rant, seeming to mull over the offer of doughnuts. They were pretty tasty, now that he thought about it. Maybe if... "Wait, what kind?"

"What- what kind, sir?" The sudden change in mood startled A0012C. "Um, there's glazed-"

"Glazed? Just rinky-_dinky _glazed. You-"

"And cream filled!" the robot hurriedly finished. _Oh please like cream filled doughnuts._

"Oh." Bad Cop considered this for a moment. "Like, the ones with the little... what are they called? The- you know, the things... Whatever." He shot the robot one last glare. "I suppose I could go for a cream filled doughnut right about now..."

The robot was surprised. And relieved. It had thought for sure that it was as good as decommissioned for a moment there. Bad Cop's temper was legendary, and every robot in the squadron knew he was called _bad _for a reason. Stories circulated about him _melting down_ anyone who annoyed him. They said he ate nuts and bolts for lunch- all that was left after he got done with you. There were even rumors that he... hmm. Actually that one may be a bit much, but the first two were definitely true and not exaggerated in any way. There was a reason they'd sent the runt to talk to him. Oh man, A0012C hated this job.

"The doughnuts are over here sir."

And so we find Bad Cop sitting in his car hovering above the ocean, watching the search for the fabled Piece of Resistance being carried out below him and eating his cream filled doughnuts. Why anyone would think to bring doughnuts to a raid like this was completely beyond him, but here they were. Preoccupied as he was, he almost didn't notice an inconspicuous couch bob to the surface of the water. However, an almost is an almost. He wasn't particularly _interested _in it, but he saw it. And as he lazily watched it as the sun set, he saw everyone else completely pass over it. Finishing the doughnut, Bad Cop decided that maybe he could hang around a little bit longer, supervising the search and the like. After all, this was his favorite time of day. You know, the way it's still bright out, but not _bright _bright- the way you coud still see the orange reflection of the sun on the clouds in the distance, and it starts to get a bit chilly- Sunsets savvy real good, ya dig?

So, he kept an eye on the search and the couch- what even was that, some kind of bunk bed couch? What was the point? Ugh, the stupid thing must have come from... what was that place called? "Cloud Cuckooland," someone had said. From what he'd seen before they'd blown the stupid place to bits, it was full of weird stuff. Seriously though, weren't those Master Builder guys supposed to be geniuses or something? Why would they make a bunk-couch? Out of all the ideas in the world, what idjit came up with that? Assuming, of course, that everyone in Cloud Cuckooland was a Master Builder, which wouldn't make any sense now that he thought of it. There had been too many people there, way more than how many Master Builders there were supposed to be. Did they just let anyone build whatever they wanted up there? Probably. No good builder would make something like a bunk-couch.

A robot flew up to him, breaking Bad Cop out of his thoughts.

"Sir, our search has come up negative. The piece of resistance is still unobtained. We have gathered all wreckage and debris."

"Have you?" he said, raising an eyebrow at it.

"Affirmative," the bot said with a nod.

"What about that thing?" He gestured towards the double-decker couch.

"What is that?"

"A couch. Debris. Wreckage. _Ungathered. _Take it too," he ordered.

"But sir, it's useless. There is little to no correlation between it and Master Builders. It's too stupid."

"Well yeah, I _get_ that. All I'm saying is it could be used for scrap."

A0012C- of course that's the robot talking- mentally sighed in relief. It had been a horrible idea to question an order like that. A0012C was always having bad ideas, it seemed. Nobody liked A0012C. Thankfully though, Bad Cop seemed to have mellowed out a bit after his doughnut. "Of course, sir, scrap. We'll get right on that."

"Good."

He watched the robot go inform the others that they'd be taking the couch too. A few of them looked about in confusion before spotting the unassuming object floating up and down on the waves. It seemed they hadn't noticed it.

Bad Cop went to yell at the scuba divers for a bit for not having found that stupid Piece of Resistance yet, but he honestly wasn't too worried. After all, it was at the bottom of an ocean, so there wasn't any way anyone was getting at it if they couldn't. Plus, the special was dead, along with the Master Builders he'd been with, the rest of them were safely locked up- they pretty much had this in the bag.

_Well_, no bodies had actually been _recovered_, so the bit about the special being dead was a very strong maybe. Really though, there was no way he could have survived. The dysfunctional submarine had clearly exploded.

So, Bad Cop and the rest of the crew on the surface packed up and left the scuba cops to their business underwater, leaving the surface of the water clear. If you had been crouching in, say, a double-decker couch, now would be the perfect time to come out of hiding and possibly even be rescued by a pirate ship watching these goings-ons from just past the horizon. However, the couch was with the rest of the bricks left from Cloud Cuckooland, being carried back to the office to be disassembled and repurposed, efficient to a point.

So Metalbeard turned his ship around and left, the sun finally dipped entirely over the horizon, and the stars twinkled overhead as Emmet, Wyldstyle, Vesuvius, Unikitty, Batman, and Benny all desperately tried not to sneeze.

**Well, at least one of the robo-rumors is definitely true and not exaggerated in any way. Also oops look at that a tough character with a soft spot for sunsets.**

**Hello there friends. Hey buddy, you are looking good today. Yeah, you. Anyway first fanfic. Kind of a short chapter. I am very inexperienced in the ways of actually writing, so please forgive me for my lack of general skill, and possible OOC-ness, and dialogue that drags on and stuff like that. And continuity errors. I've only seen the movie once. Gonna see it again with some of my friends sometime though! Pretty rad, ehhh?**

**Just btw, I am a lazy little mofo, so updates may not be very frequent, but I'll try my best. Just know that there is no way I'm gonna leave you hanging or something. Um... yeah. And if it ever gets discontinued for some odd reason, I'm at least going to tell you how it ends. So, yeah. Thanks. Way nervous to post this but I will anyway because it's four in the morning and my judgement is clouded. (Also is Good Cop erased after they escape Bricksburg or after this? I don't remember. I'm going with the former.)**


	2. Chapter Dos

It was a good thing, Wyldstyle mused, that coolers were waterproof- even ones fitted into double-decker couches. Who knew the stupid thing would become useful? It was cramped, sure, but at least nobody had drowned. Probably. She couldn't exactly do a head count right now. So for all intents and purposes, she assumed that nobody had been eaten by a shark between getting into the coolers and now, because that was a totally plausible possibility.

Who knew the stupid couch would become useful?

It had actually been Emmet's idea to climb into the coolers. To be honest, none of the others had even given the couch a second glance, so it would make sense that he was the only one to be thinking about it when they were all about to drown. When their faulty ship had fallen apart (mostly due to the lack of cooperation that had gone into building it), there had literally been no other plan than 'take deep breaths and get in the couch', so in the heat of the moment, none of them really questioned why.

After sitting there for who knows how long, there came a noise from outside, then the couch was moving. Wyldstyle pressed herself against the cooler walls, startled. What was happening? Had they been found? No, there was no way they could have known they were in here, right? Still, something was happening, and she had to figure out what. So Wyldstyle pressed her ear against the side of the cooler, listening. It proved to be a fruitless venture, as not much sound could get through, and nobody nearby was talking, if there was anyone nearby at all. She made a small, frustated noise and sat back, trying to come up with a new plan.

Should she risk opening the top for a peek? It didn't take long for her to decide that yes, she should. So she pushed up on the top of her cooler compartment thing until it popped up. The sudden way it opened made Wyldstyle cringe. After taking a moment's pause, she slowly lifted her head up, pushing the lid further out of the way as she did so. Careful, careful...

Oh my gosh.

She dropped back in with a whumph, one of her hands over her mouth. There had been a robot _right there_. Holy bread on a pickle stick. It had had its back turned, thank goodness, but it had still scared the heck out of her. Once she had regarnered her wits, she resumed her super sneaky ninja spy business and peeked out again, being extra conscious of the robot.

It looked like they were on some kind of... barge-thingy? along with a bunch of loose pieces and half destroyed structures. The robot that had startled her earlier was standing close by. Just sort of chillin'. Serial code A0012C, she saw printed on its back. This must be garbage collection. Now, what did she know about garbage? It was... hold on... was it... I think it gets... Taken to the tower! To be repurposed!

They were being taken right where they wanted to go. This was perfect! Get there, sneak out, find the Kragle, and put that thing on the thing! She sat back down in the cooler, closing the lid behind her as best she could.

There was no way they could mess up something simple as that.

**Okay hello yes it is me. God, the day after I posted the first chapter I was totally freaking out. What the hell am I doing? I am bad, at everything, really bad at just existing in general, so I was seriously panicking. I can't even present a powerpoint to a class of people I know without totally breaking down, why am I showing my shitty writing to the internet? I am obviously not skilled in logic. My sim is though. She has a lot of them logic skill points. Go sim go, with your fake house and your fake fiancee and your fake friend who sort of lives there too. Yeah, she's pretty cool. But you seven people who reviewed really reassured me, sort of- I was still real spooked, but I was most certainly less spooked than before. So thanks for that. And thank you for telling me that I was indeed right about the thing. Um... Yeah. Sorry for being annoying. One day I'll have swag. One day. I still have no idea why I'm doing this, but you know. Socks. Eso si que es.**

**I'm sorry for being the procrastinating piece of shit I am, and for it being two damn months since the first chapter, and other stuff. This week I decided to get my sorry ass in gear and write this sucker. After all, there's no way I'm not gonna update on 4/20. I mean, come on. Still though, I'm not 100% sure where I'm going with this. I mean, I know where I'm going, but I don't really have the ****_how_**** I'm getting there down. It started out as really just a burst of inspiration, sleep deprivation, and a vague idea, and here we are.**

**Anyway, I really can't thank you all enough for those follows favorites and reviews. Seriously, holy shit you guys are amazing. Gah, all nine of them reviews man, thanks. And everyone else, I see you there, with your silent appreciation. Love you all. Flawless human beings. And flawless alien invaders. And yetis. You are all so god damn great I jus can't even m8 ur all 367932457% swaggy and perf thank. Also, I looked at the views and yo, someone from Guam looked at this. Guam! My quarter with Guam on it is my favorite quarter. **

**Oh! Oh! Guess what! Holy shit guys, apparently there's gonna be a Lego Movie 2! And it'll have more female main characters! And stuff! I'm very happy over here. 2017 release date, I think. Hella happy. Anyway... sorry for this being so ridiculously short, but I just had to get something out. Also, there has been like no proofreading, so sorry for that too. I hope it's good enough for youy fellers. Idk. And the author's note here it like as long at the chapter oh my god. Alrighty then... Thank you all, so much!**

**...A0012C, you nerd.**


End file.
